What is Happening in My Head?

No, seriously. There's something wrong with my subconscious.

I know no one really cares about your dreams unless you dreamt about the person you're telling your dream to. However. I'm posting every day and sometimes that means you're going to read about my dream. Deal.

So, I'm dreaming. I'm in some sort of hybrid of Goonies and EuroTrip - a group of friends, traveling through strange and possibly dangerous lands, looking for something. I just wasn't sure what. Then, a dashing older man in a suit sort of whisked me away. At first, he was potentially dangerous - maybe he was hiding what we were looking for? And then, we were on a date.

Driving motorcycles.

Yeah, I don't know either.

So, we're driving motorcycles - we each had our own badass Harley - and we stop for dinner or something. This is when I realize that my mystery man... is Dog the Bounty Hunter. Yeah, you read that right. And I'm having a lovely time with Dog and he's very rough and manly and sexy and stuff. I would like to point out that, in my waking life, I do not necessarily find Dog attractive. He seems like a very nice man* and kind of charming, but he's a little too weathered for my taste. However, in my dream? He's the hottest.

And then it occurs to me, wait a minute - Aren't you married, Dog? And I'm so disappointed. "mmm" Dog says, and looks at me with, well, puppy eyes. "Doesn't your wife mind?" I ask. And Dog just took my hand in his, ever so gently, and it was awesome. Like, remember when you first started getting interested in sex and relationships and stuff and how when you finally had a crush on someone who crushed you back, it was so thrilling and butterfly-ie and wonderful? It was like that. And then my alarm went off and slapped the snooze button. As I was drifting back to sleep, thinking of Dog, my mind brought up what he actually looks like - with the vest with no shirt and the long mullet and the leathery eyes and I thought "What is going on in there, brain?"



*He's a born-again Christian and he does seem to be genuinely interested in helping the people he busts get their lives back on-track, however, he was in prison for first-degree murder, which is generally not a nice thing. Then again, he seems to truly love his wife and children and care about the people around him so, I guess people can change. He seems like he'd be a good guy to have in your corner.

New Start

So, I'm starting over with this blog. Not really, I mean, I'm not deleting old posts or anything, but I feel like it's New Year's Day or something. I'm posting everyday for the month of November. In tandem with this, I've also decided to restart my diet. I've essentially been on a diet since last February, and I've had slow but steady results with a couple of setbacks. The key, for me, to successfully eating healthy (healthily?) is to track my food. I haven't consistently done that for months now, which is why I haven't lost any more weight. I also haven't gained any which is good, because it means that I have changed some of my eating habits for the better, but it's also bad because I know that I feel more comfortable with myself at about ten pounds lighter. But this is not interesting blog fodder, and I do strive to be interesting. The point is, for me, it is also TraFoDaiMo*.

Today's tidbit: (actually several days old)

New Jersey recently passed a law allowing same-sex couples to marry (civil union, but whatever). This is a big step forward because New Jersey allows out of state couples to wed, which means same-sex couples can go and get married and then challenge their state to recognize their union.

I don't get why this is still an issue. It isn't like straight people are doing such a hot job at preserving the sanctity of marriage. Besides, look at these ladies. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

*Track Food Daily Month I know, it's sort of a stretch and not as funny as I hoped but what are you going to do? I try.

Long Time, No See

So, it's been well over a month since I've posted. First I was going to write about seeing Tom Petty in what may have been his last concert ever, and then I was going to write about how I decided not to run the 1/2 marathon and then some stuff about weddings after I went to yet another friend's nuptials. Then my parents were in town and it was already a couple weeks after Tom Petty and the 1/2 marathon was already over and ... you know, life and stuff.

Then I was wondering: If I don't blog when I actually have something to blog about, maybe I should just stop altogether. I mean, hardly anyone knows I have this blog. I'm completely anonymous and, yet, the only people who read it are my three friends who I told to read it.

And then, I came across this:

Which I love. It roughly translates to "blog or die"

NaBloPoMo is inspired by NaNoWriMo, where people write an entire novel in one month only with this you post to your blog every day. I like it, and I think I'll give it a shot. According to the Franklin Covey class I took, it takes thirty days of doing something every day to make it a habit. So, I figure I will commit to posting once a day, every day, in November. It's going to be tough over Thanksgiving, because I'm going to my parent's house in the North Georgia mountains and their internet connection blows. And we're driving there, so that's at least two days where I spend at least 12 hours in the car, but we'll see what I can do.

At the very least, I have two drafts that I started and never finished, so even if I come up with nothing, I have a few things in the hopper.

I wish Blogger would get their shit together with Mac. I can't post pictures from my home computer, because even Firefox doesn't let you post pictures to blogger. They just haven't figured it out yet, I guess. Maybe while I'm home, I can just upload pics to my mom's computer and post from there.

Aren't you just so excited? You totally should be. It will rock.

ps - did you know that Blogger's spell check considers "blogger" a misspelled word? Interesting.

Firsts Meme

I have discovered I love these things. Rather than email everyone and be annoying, I post them here.

{stolen from quodlibets, who claims it was (stolen from frogblog)}
1. Who was your first prom date? Billy Webster. I was a freshman, he was a junior. We dated for several months and did nothing but hold hands. It was sweet.
2. Who was your first roommate(s)? I had a single my freshman year of college, so my first roommate was of my choosing in Rome and a girl we hardly knew who I offered to room with us. She and my friend ended up dating for several years.
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink the first time you got drunk? Beer.
4. What was your first job? I worked the register at Eckerd’s Pharmacy.
5. What was your first car? A used maroon Mitsubishi Expo. It was a piece and very ugly. I believe they only made them for two years before they stopped due to lack of interest.
6. When did you go to your first funeral? I went to my dad’s wake at 5 and have some memories of it, but I don’t think I was allowed to go to the funeral. Then, I think the next one was my grandmother in 1996.
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? Moved from Schaumburg to Marietta, Georgia when I was 8. I left Marietta at 17 for college and never went back. Except to visit.
8. Who was your first grade teacher? I don’t remember.
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? I flew to Florida to visit a friend who had moved there when I was in sixth grade – that was the first time I flew alone. I think we flew right after my dad died – my mom, brothers and I went on a cruise – but my mom gave us Dramamine so we would sleep and I don’t remember it.
10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I never really snuck out. My middle brother and I snuck out early one morning to go ice skating, but I was probably only 8 at the time, and I don’t think our parents would have cared.
11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? My first best friend was named Rhonda, I think, and we’re not still friends. My next best friend was Tiffany and we are also no longer friends, though our mothers are, so I occasionally get updates on her.
12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house? Regina Hall.
13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? I go home to B or I call my mom. 14. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid/groomsman? My sister’s wedding, I was the maid of honor.
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? I tinkle, brush my teeth and either walk the dog or shower, depending on whether or not he’s going to daycare that day.
16. What was the first concert you ever went to? I saw Little Feat with my aunt when I was about 15.
17. First tattoo or piercing? I got my ears pierced in third grade, I think. I got them double-pierced with my mom after my freshman year of college – she got hers done, too. I got my cartilage pierced at some point, but it never healed properly and I took it out. I got my tongue pierced my sophomore year of college while in Germany, shortly before new years, 1999. I got my first tattoo when I was 23 in Chicago.
18. First celebrity crush? Sadly, I think it was Steve Guttenberg in the Police Academy movies.
19. Age of first kiss? It was right before high school started, so I guess I was 13?
20. First crush? Hmm. My first boyfriend was in third grade, but I don’t remember having a crush on him first, he asked and I said yes. Then… Ummmm… Maybe fourth grade, it was really serious? At that point, my crush changed from week to week. The longest running crush started my freshman year of high school and lasted probably until my freshman year of college.
21. First time you did drugs? My senior year in high school, I went out with a friend and we went to someone’s house. The guy had graduated the year before and was … well, not traditionally hot, but very smart and charming… so I tried what he was offering, which just made me feel thick-headed and dumb. I had to drive home which was bad and dumb. Then, I never really did anything else, not much anyway, until we went to Amsterdam my sophomore year of college, when it became blatantly obvious that I should not ever smoke anything ever. I threw up all over that damn city. It was awful. I’ve stuck with government - approved drugs since then, like booze.

Summer Vacation, Part the Second

Possibly the Longest Post Ever…

Where we left off:
4. A drunk driver smashed into my car, doing $6400 worth of damage but thankfully only hurting himself. The car was parked and no one was in or around it.
5. School is about to start soon
6. I will be engaged soon

Poor, Sad Scion

I love my car. It is zippy, small and cute. It is the first car I have ever bought, and I’ve had it for just over a year. A friend of mine recently asked what car I would get if money were no object. Honestly, it’s this car. I know it isn’t expensive or fancy but I love it and it is me.

We don’t have a garage spot, so I park on the street. Sunday evening, I parked on Grand Avenue, not far from my front door, when I park very frequently. Monday morning, I was leaving to take Hank to daycare. I started walking down the sidewalk and I saw a car blocking the sidewalk. It was one of those moments where your brain just doesn’t quite register what it is seeing. It was like this:

After a couple steps, I stopped. “That’s my car.” I started walking forward again, confused. I stopped again. “ “ that’s what I thought. Nothing. What? I called B, who was still upstairs. “Someone hit my car. It’s up on the sidewalk” I started crying. He said he was on his way. I sat down on the stoop of the building next door and just started bawling. My brain just couldn’t quite figure out what I was supposed to do. It was awful. I sort of forgot about Hank, who was also confused. Thankfully, he is a very mellow dog and, when something is wrong, he just stays quiet and sticks by your side. He's really wonderful.

There were pieces of car all over the sidewalk. There was antifreeze all over the street. Naturally, I assumed it was all from my car.


When your car is in an accident and the police are called and you aren’t there, they leave an accident report on your windshield. I know this because, about two years ago, a garbage truck hit the back of my old Subaru and ripped the bumper off.

So, I started to look at the accident report. There were four cars involved in this accident, but only mine and another one were listed. Turns out, only two cars fit on one report so I had one page of a two page report. I called my insurance company and a tow truck showed up – he had already towed the other two cars involved. I’d show more pictures, but I don’t know how to fuzz out the license plate and that makes me nervous.

To make a long story slightly shorter, I got the full accident report and discovered that some guy, driving someone else’s car with no license and no insurance had sideswiped the car behind me, hit me and shoved my car up onto the sidewalk and into the car in front of me. The body shot says it is going to cost about $6400 and take 80 labor hours to fix. It has been three weeks and my car is still in the shop. Thankfully, my insurance company is covering it. Unfortunately, I have a $1000 deductible and I’m working part time because I’m in school. So that sort of sucks. But the car is being fixed and eventually I’ll have it back. In the meantime, I’m taking the bus to work and grocery shopping with B. It is frustrating, but it could have been worse.

Back to School

School has started back up. I’m taking a class about teaching writing to second language writers – basically non-native English speakers. I’m a little nervous because I have no teaching experience and this will sort of give me a sense of whether or not I’ll like teaching. I also think it will be pretty challenging.

I was supposed to take two classes, but the only ones available were one in Milton and one in 18th Century and Restoration Drama. Not great. Plus, working three days a week severely cuts into my paycheck, no matter how long I work on those days. This class will not be offered again until 2008. Since the majority of community college students are ESL students, and since I will most likely be teaching community college or high school, I figure I should take it.

Engagement Pending

The other night, B (for “boyfriend” I can’t figure out how to refer to him here. He doesn’t know I have a blog [I just haven’t felt like telling him.] so it doesn’t seem fair to name him) told me that the ring I've been planning on using - the engagement ring my dad gave my mom - can only hold what it holds now - .5 carat, oval shaped stone. He was telling me this because he wasn't sure if I still wanted to use that, since .5 carat is kind of small and you know how I like the bling. Seriously, though, I had thought you could put anything in there. In my head, it was slightly bigger, maybe .75 to 1 carat and princess cut. I'm not crazy about ovals. He said they have a jacket that fits well and looks good that we could use as a wedding band, which would bling it up. He already ordered the stone, but wanted to make sure it's what I wanted before he has it put in. He said that I could have something bigger if that's what I want. So, on Saturday we went to look at it.

I was torn. I've never even thought about what kind of engagement ring I might want because I always thought I already had my engagement ring. It is small, but it has a lot of sentimental value. I was leaning towards just getting it sized for my right hand with a ruby (what was in it – my birthstone) and then getting something else for my engagement ring. But that makes me a little sad, because I thought I'd have this great sentimental ring. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life wishing I had made a different choice. It's tough. In any case, he had already ordered the diamond, which means that he is 100% sure he's proposing and fairly soon.

So we went to look at the diamond he’d already bought. It was beautiful. Shiny and Sparkly and all the wonderful things that diamonds can be, only way more so than I’d ever expected. I was enthralled. I tried on other stuff, just for to be sure. However, the salesgirl? Not so helpful. I wanted to check out other solitaires with stones in them for size comparisons. I like white gold, she brought me yellow. The diamond B bought was pretty high quality – she brought me cubic zirconium. All the other settings they had seemed like a lot of … stuff. I mean, they seemed really big and I have little hands. PLUS the settings they have in jewelry stores don’t have stones in them, which makes them look weird. So, I was overwhelmed and the one I had was so pretty and sparkly. So, I said I wanted it. Yay! They said it would be ready Monday. Yay! I asked them to put the ruby that was in my ring into a basic pendant for a necklace.

Then Sunday came, as it often does after Saturday, and we saw some friends who were recently engaged. Her ring was one carat, as were most of the rings of the women in my office. I started to think “my ring will be half that size… with no side stones… nothing else. People are going to think it’s dinky.” It isn’t that I was looking at my ring solely through the eyes of other people, I mean, if I really loved it I don’t think that I’d care. But I felt like I would always be explaining that it was my mom’s setting and it has great sentimental value and … I didn’t want people to think that B was cheap. I didn’t want to feel like I had to explain. I felt greedy and ungrateful.

Once our friends left, I went to fold some laundry, trying to figure out how to tell B that the ring he’d already paid for, that would be ready the next day, wasn’t what I wanted. I started crying. He started laughing at me. He was glad I wanted something else and said he was going to try to talk me out of it anyway. I knew I liked him for a reason.

So, now I have a new necklace and I’ll probably get something else to go in my mom’s ring and we’re starting over looking for a new ring. I have no idea how or when he’ll propose but he has said that one we have the ring, I won’t be getting it right away. It’s funny, but I have been so nervous and sort of anxious wondering when he will propose but, now that I know that he will soon, I’m not anxious at all. It’s cheesy and you’ll have to just excuse me, but I just feel so happy. I’m looking forward to getting married and starting our life together – even though we’ve already lived together for a while, I feel like this is the real start of things.