Thursday, October 18, 2007

Another Word on Weddings

I had no idea what was involved in planning a wedding before I planned one. Whenever I was invited to a wedding I tried to be polite and generally not bother the couple as much as possible. I think most people do this. I have tried not to be bridezilla, and I think I've done a fairly good job, but I just have to rant a little bit.

When you get a pre-addressed, pre-stamped rsvp card, please use it. I know that your life is complicated, and it takes time to figure things out, so I understand that you can't respond by the next day. However, there is a reason that there is a date you are supposed to respond by. It's because I have to tell the caterer how much food I need, and I have to pay for that food. If you haven't responded by the week before the wedding, respond that you are not coming. They are assuming you are not coming. Either don't do anything or respond with a no. This applies even as you are approaching 90. Yes, we can make room for one more, but please don't be offended that your name is not listed on the seating chart. It's because I did the seating chart more than three days before the wedding.

If you are invited to a rehearsal dinner. Respond. Most rehearsals are small and one person can make a big difference.

If you are strapped for cash, and need a place to stay, figure it out before the week of the wedding. If you don't, don't ask bridesmaids who are coming from out of town if you can stay with them. It puts them and inevitably, the bride, in an awkward situation. Also, if you read this and feel bad, don't call me and apologize. It's ok. I know, you didn't mean to offend, or anything, but you were busy and didn't get to it. I know. But I just had to get that off my chest.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A Word on Weddings

I was going to comment on the most recent post over at Quodlibets, but I decided to post here instead. I've written about gay marriage, and my befuddlement over objects to it before, but I feel like talking about it again. Maybe it's because I'm getting married in four days.

She links to this article in the Daily Californian. The author basically says he just doesn't understand the argument against gay marriage. I'm so happy to see this getting some print. I feel like every article about gay marriage assumes that the arguments against it are understood, or at least are not worth discussing. I've yet to read anything anywhere that explains what it is that makes people believe that gay marriage is wrong. The only thing I have ever heard is that it is a religious issue. Which, while I don't agree, I understand that some religions believe that homosexuality is wrong. What I don't understand is why religious beliefs are guiding our laws.

If anyone has any argument against gay marriage that has nothing to do with religion, I would really like to hear it, because I just don't get it. Like the author of the article I linked to, I am usually pretty good at understanding my opposition's arguments - it's the best way to win an argument - but this? This I just don't get. Email me if you do: recordstorerita (at) hotmail (dot) com.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

The End is Near

Which means that Hawai'i is near. Which is a very, very good thing.

My wedding is fifteen days and a wake-up (as my dad would say) away. I have no idea how it went from months and months away to OhMyGodItIsF'ingTOMORROW, but it did, and I was a little taken aback. I made a big list, Mr finally saw the urgency of the matter and pitched in, and we're well on our way. I've picked the readings for the ceremony, my mom found musicians for the ceremony, we met with our band leader, I booked pre- and wedding-night hotel rooms, confirmed the flowers, and made an appointment with the priest. I'm getting a test-drive of my hair-do on Saturday just before Mr & I go pick out his ring. Shit is MOVING.

On one hand, I'm kind of stressed because, um, it is so very soon. On the other hand, I do not have to power to create time, so I also have a moderately-zen "there's only so much time in the day and so much I can do in a day" sort of approach. I would like to have my immediate family over for dinner Thursday night, since most of them have not seen my house, and I would like to host a brunch Sunday for the rest of my family, but all of that requires planning, which requires time, which I do not have.

I've also developed a zen attitude towards my weight. I've gained some of the weight that I had lost back. Not a ton, the dress still fits, but I don't know if I'll wear the bikini I bought for the honeymoon. I mean, I am NOT a bikini girl, but I wanted to be for the honeymoon. But, and here's where the zen comes in, I can't lose five (or ten, or fifteen, if we're counting was I was hoping to lose) pounds in fifteen days. Not going to happen. It will be fine. My dress ROCKS and is loverly. As for Hawai'i? Mr seems to dig me, and I probably won't see any of those people again, so either I'll be brave and wear the bikini, or I won't and I'll wear the one-piece. Or I'll compromise and wear the bikini but won't ever take my cover-up off. Regardless, there will be alcohol in pineapples and I will be happy.

Oh yeah, and I just found out I passed the Masters' Exam. I am officially a smarty-pants!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Like a Fool

I was going through my copy of “Preparing the Roman Catholic Liturgy: A Workbook for Engaged Couples,” looking for the appropriate readings for our wedding ceremony, and I found this:

Matthew 7:21, 24-29

Jesus said to his disciples: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the Kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.
“Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock. And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined.”

I couldn’t help but feel a connection to the words “The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined.” Our house is built neither on rock nor sand, but perhaps there’s a lesson here. I'm not sure what that lesson is. Sure, there’s a message about following the teachings of Jesus, but I think the choice of metaphor is interesting. For us, the metaphor is the reality. “The rain fell … the winds blew and buffeted .. the it collapsed and was [partially] ruined.” Fortunately, we have insurance, and someday they might even pay us something that will hopefully help fund the rebuilding efforts. We will rebuild, not on rock but also not on sand, and hopefully, that will be ok.