Saturday, March 25, 2006

Tori Spelling is Lame

Tori Spelling thinks her life is playing out like When Harry Met Sally.  She’s totally stealing lines from the movie and rewording them to be less eloquent and entertaining.  She commented on her relationship with whatever guy she’s engage to this week and said:

"I believe that when you find the right person, you just want to start your lives together," she tells "Entertainment Tonight" of McDermott, who has optimistically tattooed several tremendous tributes to his future wife on his arm. "We both feel that way. We don't look at it as making a hasty move and jumping into something. It's just we searched our whole lives for each other, we finally found each other, and we want that life to start as quickly as possible."        

Which bears a striking resemblance to a key scene near the end of the movie, when Harry busts in to the New Years Eve party and tells Sally he loves her:

“I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

I just thought you should know.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Forwards Can Be Funny

Usually, I don't care for e-mail forwards. Chances are, I've already seen it fifteen times and it wasn't that funny to begin with. But, I got this one today and it is funny. Sad, too but also funny. A friend of mine added his own comments on the side, which I also appreciate. I took out some of his comments when I disagreed, and edited where I see fit. I'm now claiming them as my own.


1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Not True.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. Absolutely.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. Also not true. Please ignore the fact that the beer is from 4 months ago and will never be consumed.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. Bummer.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. Never going to happen.
6. You watch the Weather Channel. Nope.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up." Sad, but sorta true.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. Again, Bummer.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." Never did in my book.
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won't turn down the stereo. Amazing how quickly the tables turn and this is true.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. Does it matter if I'm not comfortable with that?
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. I miss Taco Bell.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. True.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Falling asleep on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps sometime between noon and 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. Hahahah, that's funny. Sad, but funny.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather
than settle, your stomach. Gross at any age. The people are crazy.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid,
not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." Says WHO? I love the three-buck Chuck (though it used to be two bucks).
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. I eat breakfast all the time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to
drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. HAHAHAHAH. Not so much.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. I totally do this. It just makes more sense.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt. Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same. (Or post it on your blog, which no one will read, except for maybe the two people who know I have a blog.)
BONUS: 26. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh Shit!!! Whose is it?" Nope, still think its an accident.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


I used to dream a lot about being lost or left behind.  I had a distinct, cartoonish dream at a very young age – maybe 6 or 7 – where I came from somewhere and my house was gone and my mom was gone.  It was very disturbing.  Like when you go shopping with your mom, and she’s taking forever looking at stuff, so you start wandering around and going inside the racks and the next thing you know, your mom has wandered off and you can’t find her.

I had another very vivid dream a couple years later where my mom and her friend were playing trivial pursuit.  Only the winner got to keep me.  It was truly terrifying because, although my mom’s friend was very nice, I did not want to live with her.  

Really, all of this is Freud’s fault.  If I wasn’t taking a literary theory class right now, where we had to read a selection from his Interpretation of Dreams, I wouldn’t be thinking about dreams.  It’s funny what you remember though.  After all these years, those dreams are still very vivid in my mind.  Out of all the crazy things that have happened in my head (and there’s some interesting stuff, I’m sure), this is what I remember best.