Friday, March 24, 2006

Forwards Can Be Funny

Usually, I don't care for e-mail forwards. Chances are, I've already seen it fifteen times and it wasn't that funny to begin with. But, I got this one today and it is funny. Sad, too but also funny. A friend of mine added his own comments on the side, which I also appreciate. I took out some of his comments when I disagreed, and edited where I see fit. I'm now claiming them as my own.


1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Not True.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. Absolutely.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. Also not true. Please ignore the fact that the beer is from 4 months ago and will never be consumed.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. Bummer.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. Never going to happen.
6. You watch the Weather Channel. Nope.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up." Sad, but sorta true.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. Again, Bummer.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." Never did in my book.
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won't turn down the stereo. Amazing how quickly the tables turn and this is true.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. Does it matter if I'm not comfortable with that?
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. I miss Taco Bell.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. True.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Falling asleep on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps sometime between noon and 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. Hahahah, that's funny. Sad, but funny.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather
than settle, your stomach. Gross at any age. The people are crazy.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid,
not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." Says WHO? I love the three-buck Chuck (though it used to be two bucks).
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. I eat breakfast all the time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to
drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. HAHAHAHAH. Not so much.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. I totally do this. It just makes more sense.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt. Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same. (Or post it on your blog, which no one will read, except for maybe the two people who know I have a blog.)
BONUS: 26. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh Shit!!! Whose is it?" Nope, still think its an accident.

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