Sunday, July 15, 2007


Sometimes, family is tough. I have a cousin who is a very fun guy. He is always coming up with great ideas for excursions and vacations and throws a really good party. However, he is also frequently completely clueless to the world around him.

He sent out a mass email to a bunch of us (cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, etc) about a party that was about two and a half months away. Just a heads up that we'd be getting an evite from a friend of his who we probably don't know. The party was scheduled for the same day as the shower being thrown for Mr & me.

He would have no way of knowing this, since the invites hadn't gone out yet. So, I replied to everyone to say that my shower was that same date. (In my family, we throw couples showers, so it is really more of a party that involves everyone and is generally later at night - dinner and whatnot). One person (another cousin, not the one throwing this party) responded, saying he hadn't heard about that yet and he and his wife might have another commitment.

My cousin just sent out another notice with the evite for the party, which the date hasn't changed, saying they want to get a head count. It is still over a month away and, as far as I know, the invites for my shower have yet to go out. Cousin's party starts at 7. My party is supposed to be a barbecue - so it will probably start around 5:30 or 6. Mr says I shouldn't worry - Cousin and his younger brother (who is scheduled to sing and play guitar at Cousin's party) will be the only ones who leave. However, at least one of my uncles has already responded to the evite saying they will be there.

I'm not inviting many friends to the shower - only the people in my wedding party - so, this is really a family affair. I'm worried that all of the younger cousins will ditch the shower early to go to Cousin's party, leaving me and Mr with my older relatives and my parents' friends, resulting in exactly the type of situation Mr was dreading in the first place, which is why he didn't want a shower.

Of course, his groomsmen and wives will most likely be there so, it won't be a total loss. I like all of those guys and their wives & girlfriends. We'll have fun. But I can't help but feel like I keep getting screwed out of what all of my other cousins have gotten when they were at this point in their lives. It seems like everything I do for our wedding is somehow scheduled inconveniently, and I'm tired of getting teased/asked about it (our actual wedding date is the same as the Notre Dame/USC game and the vast majority of my family is BIG ND fans/alumni). I know that I'm overreacting a little bit. I mean, if they don't want to be there, why would I want them there? And maybe, when they get the invitation, they'll change their plans and be there for me. And I am at a particularly hormonal time of the month, so maybe next week this will seem like no big deal. However, at the moment, I just wish that I wasn't always second to something else and a bit of an inconvenience for everyone. I wish that everyone was as excited for my wedding as they have been for everyone else's.

Geez. I'm really good at the whole self-pitying thing.

1 comment:

niobe said...

It does sound annoying. Are you sure that everyone plans to go to the conflicting party? Could you ask a few of the ones you most want to see at your shower?

I don't know how set in stone all these things are -- but if the invitations for your shower haven't even gone out yet, could it be moved one day forward or back? Or could you make sure the shower starts earlier, so people can hang out beforehand? Or could would cousin agree to move the starting time for his (well, I guess not exactly his, but close) party a few hours later?

Maybe none of these things are feasible, but I'm just trying to come up with a few ideas.